Vayeishev

Having concluded the sale of Yosef, the brothers mislead Yaakov into believing that Yosef is dead. As much as they try to comfort him, Yaakov cannot be comforted. Remarkably, the Torah then interrupts the narrative of Yosef to relate the story of Yehuda, stating ויהי בעת ההוא וירד יהודה מאת אחיו, it was at that time that Yeduda descended from his brothers.   

‎Rashi cites a Midrash explaining the juxtaposition of the sale of Yosef to the phrase: Yehuda descended from his brothers, telling us that Yehuda was ‎deposed as the leader of the brothers.  Once they saw Yaakov's pain & suffering, they blamed Yehuda saying, " you told us to sell him; had you told us to send him back to our father, we would have listened!” 

The אוצר התורה asks an interesting question: why were the brothers angry at Yehuda for telling them to sell Yosef? Why didn't they blame Reuvain, instead, who had been the one to initially suggest that they put him in the pit? Why didn't they say to him, “had you told us to return him instead we would have listened?” 

A psychological insight from the Ralbag provides the answer - the Torah is teaching us how to wean people away from the wrong path. When one sees his friend about to commit a sin he has to assess how passionate he is about what he’s about to do. If one is totally set on committing the sin, telling him not to do it, won't work. One has to slowly wean this individual away from ‎his destructive path. 

While it's true that Reuvain wanted to save Yosef, he knew that a head on confrontation would never have worked because the brothers were so bent on killing Yosef that telling them to return him would have fallen on deaf ears. Therefore, he went about it in a way to get them to back down a little. By throwing Yosef in the pit, he could then save him. Reuvain’s plan worked. When Yehuda suggested that they sell him instead, they agreed since they had already “cooled down”. Had Yehuda suggested this plan when they were in the heat of their hatred, they never would have agreed. Therefore, they were not angry at Reuvain. They understood that they never would have listened at that point. However, Yehuda had approached them when they had calmed down. Had he said return Yosef to their father, they would have agreed. Therefore, they were upset with Yehuda for not forcing them to do the right thing. 

In reality, though, how could they be so upset with Yehuda that they deposed him? They had wanted to kill Yosef & Yehuda actually saved him. What right did they have to be so angry at him?

The Chafetz Chaim ‎would often tell over a story of a man who was in the whiskey business, who for years didn't pay the alcohol tax & became very wealthy. When he was finally caught, he was sentenced to fifteen years of hard labor in Siberia. As the police were escorting him in iron chains, he passed his hometown & asked for permission to speak to the rabbi. When he approached the rabbi, he said, “I'm going to Siberia now for fifteen years & it's all your fault.  You certainly knew what I was doing, yet you didn't say anything. Why didn't you tell me that I was breaking the law?  Why didn't you warn me about the punishments? As the rabbi, that was your job. Now I will have to work slave labor in Siberia because of you!  

The Chafetz Chaim continued: this man knew the severity of his crimes. He knew what the government would do when they caught ‎him, yet he blamed the rabbi for not rebuking him. Certainly, when the heavenly court sentences sinners to punishments much worse than fifteen years in Siberia, a finger will be pointed at those that could have influenced the sinners away from the path of sin but did not.  

It was Yehuda's job to prevent the brothers from selling Yosef, so he was punished for not doing so. We must learn from this ‎to get involved. When we see people that are not doing the right thing, we must intercede & lead them on the right path. The Torah is teaching us that the way to do it is slowly, one small step at a time.  If we can just help someone to take that initial step, we will have success in bringing them all the way back!