Chayei Sarah

Eliezer travels to find a wife for יצחק and sets up a test that will determine which girl is the right one. One would think, says the sefer זכרון מאיר , that for the girl who will become the future mother of Klal Yisroel, the test would encompass her piety, emuna, pureness of heart and other noble traits. However, the only trait Eliezer tests her on is that of chesed and kindness; why only those?

He answers based on the Mishnah in Avos where Reb Yochanan ben Zakkai asked his students, “what's the best trait that a person should strive to perfect?” One said a good eye, the other said a good friend, yet another said a good neighbor, another said one who can see the outcome of his actions before he acts and Reb Eliezer said a good heart. Reb Yochanan said, “I agree with Reb Eliezer because all of your words are incorporated in his.” The Rav explained that it's the heart that drives all the other strengths, therefore that's the main point for someone to work on. If the heart is happy, then everything else falls into place and all of the other things will happen too. A good heart embraces everything. Therefore, it was enough to test her just with the mida of chesed. 

However, with just one random act of kindness, how could one tell if that's a person's essence? People tend to do kindness sometimes just to get rid of a guilty feeling and not necessarily because they are kind-hearted people. Also, how could Eliezer stand by and watch a little girl work so hard giving his camels waters to drink, when he was able to do it himself? This is exactly why it was such a big test and why it summed up her true essence. Since a camel can go a week without water, when it drinks, it drinks a lot! Additionally, Eliezer was a strong able bodied man who didn't really need the help of a little girl. Eliezer stood and watched while a little girl went and gave all ten camels water to drink. One would think that seeing him standing idly by, she would do it begrudgingly. However, the posuk says she did it happily, as the posuk continues, ותמהר and she hurried, ותרץ and ran. She did it happily with alacrity as if she were helping someone who couldn't help himself. This is the mida that Eliezer was looking for, someone in whom the mida of chesed was ingrained. This was the crux of her existence, her way of life. That’s what was needed to be the mother of Klal Yisroel. 

This mida is exemplified by our leaders as well. There are countless stories about our rabbis and the chesed they do. There are stories about Reb Moshe that show that the chesed must be part of the very fiber of a person. Once, the elderly shamash in the yeshiva asked Reb Moshe to send a few boys to come help him put up the schach on the yeshiva's sukkah. The next thing he sees is Reb Moshe up on the ladder putting up the schach himself! When chesed is a part of an individual, it doesn't matter if there are other people that can do it; one does it himself. Once, Reb Moshe was a guest in someone's home. The host, knowing that Reb Moshe got up early to learn, also got up early to be there. When he came into the room were Reb Moshe was learning, he saw that his five-year-old daughter was rolling a ball to Reb Moshe and Reb Moshe would look up from his sefer, wait till the ball got to him and roll it back to the little girl. The host said, “you don't need to play with her. If you stop, she will find something else to do”. Reb Moshe answered him, “she's your baby. Since I arrived, all the attention has been on me and not her. She must feel a little bad so it's my way of making it up to her.” There are countless stories about Reb Moshe's sensitivity and caring about others, no matter who they were. Perhaps this is why, when I asked Reb Dovid this week if one wanted extra merit what would be the optimum area to improve on, he answered without hesitation, “tzedakah and chesed”. This is what we can learn from the story of Rivka and from the leaders of our generation. Let's take this lesson to heart and increase our sensitivity to others and make chesed a part of us too!

Vayeira

Once Avraham has given the Angels food, they ask him where his wife, Sarah, is, to which he responds, “in the tent”. The Angel then tells him that next year I will return to you and your wife Sarah will have a son. Sarah heard from behind the door and laughed thinking, is it possible for an old couple like us to have children?

 Hashem then goes to Avraham asking him למה זה צחקה שרה why did Sarah laugh? היפלא מה' דבר? Is anything beyond Hashem?

The sefer אור יחזקאל writes that Hashem was disappointed that Sarah didn't believe the blessing of the Angels that she would have a son and it was considered a lack of emuna.

We need to understand this; she had no idea that they were Angels. She thought they were Arabs who were giving her a blessing that was an impossibility. If a collector goes over to a ninety-year old lady asking for a handout then blesses her that she should have children, would anyone pay any attention to that? No, so what's the disappointment in Sarah?

This teaches us how far emuna must reach, since everything is in Hashem's hands and there is no stopping Hashem from doing whatever He wants. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to believe that anything is possible. When one is blessed with a bracha that may seem impossible, the response must be amen, for Hashem can do anything. 

The midrash compares this to someone who brought two pieces of gold to a jeweler and asked him to make two rings. After a while, one of them broke and he went back and asked the jeweler if he could fix it. The jeweler responded, “do you think I can make the rings from scratch but I can't fix them? Of course, I can fix them!” This is what Hashem was saying to Sarah; I made you from scratch; I created you; don't you think I can fix you?

The ספורנו says the reason Sarah laughed was because she thought that what she was being told was just a bracha and not a promise from Hashem. She believed that the only way to turn an old lady back into a young one, which is like reviving the dead, was through a direct promise from Hashem or from תפלה משגת חן מאתו. In teaching us that prayer has the power to make what seems impossible a reality, the ספורנ uses an interesting term. What is תפילה משגת חן מאתו?

Rab Zilberstein explains that it means that the prayer is coming from someone who finds favor in Hashem's eyes. How does one do that? By overcoming one’s nature, when one doesn't always have to do things his way and gives in to the other person, when a person puts aside his way and does what is better for the other person, then he will find favor in Hashem's eyes. Hashem, likewise, will put aside His will for the will of that person. This is the key to have one’s prayers accepted by Hashem.

Surely, if one puts aside his will for the will of Hashem and accepts what Hashem gives him with love, his prayers will be answered.

I saw a story on the Daily Emuna about a childless couple for whom all the doctors had given up hope. They went to Rav Shlomo Bochner of Boneh Olam as their last opportunity. There was one top doctor who agreed to try to whom they went for treatment. A few weeks later, Chana sat in the waiting room with a Tehilim drenched with her tears. She was waiting for the results of what appeared to be her last possible chance of having a child. Unfortunately, Rav Shlomo had to inform her that the treatment had failed and she would never have a child.

 Less than a year later, Rav Shlomo received a call from the husband, Elchanan, who told him the following: "The night you told us the news, I felt as if a black cloud had enveloped me. I couldn't think straight. I was driving around late at night through the quiet streets, absorbed in thought. When I arrived home, I stumbled out of the car in a fog. I opened the front door and was shocked by the scene that greeted me. The table in the dining room was decked with the finest tablecloth and set with our finest dinnerware. My wife stood there smiling and said, 'We now ended one chapter in our life. We were dealt a blow today. I don't want to be angry with Hashem.  I want to make a Seudat Hoda'ah, a meal to thank Hashem for giving you to me and me to you. We have each other, and we are not angry. Let us enter the next chapter of our lives without bitterness. Let's celebrate what we have.' My wife served a magnificent meal that night. By the time I went to sleep, my wife's serenity had affected a considerable change in me. It seemed like I had only slept a few minutes when I heard the phone ringing at five am the next morning. It was someone from the hospital, asking me to return immediately. They had studied my chart,  and claimed there was something they could do. Now, Baruch Hashem, we just had a baby boy, and the Berit Milah is next week."

Lech Lecha

Our parsha presents the inability of our matriarch Sarah to have children. Why were the matriarchs barren? For God desires their prayers and looks forward to their conversations… He said: They are beautiful, they are rich; if they have children, when will I hear from them? (Midrash – Breishit Rabba 45:4) 
The midrash tells us further that not only was Sarah barren she didn't even have a womb making it impossible for her to conceive.
Rav Kahaneman asks why was it that Hashem had to make her without a womb? If He wanted her teffilos, wouldn't making her barren be enough? 

The parsha also relates the saga of Avraham and Sarah going down to Egypt where Avraham tells Sarah to say  אמרי נא אחותי את למען ייטב לי בעבורך say that you are my sister so that it will be good for me. Rashi says so that they will give me presents. What kind of person would let his wife be taken away so that things will be good for him? In essence, he is saying, “let the Egyptians take you and have their way with you as long as I'll be Ok.” Also, since when does Avraham take presents from kings ? He refused to take anything from the king of Sedom. 

On this last question, the בכורי אברהם answers that we are told מעשי אבות סימן לבנים , that what happened to our forefathers is a sign for the children; what happened to them happens to us. Just like Avraham went down to Mitzraim, so, too, did his children; just like Pharaoh was afflicted now, so would the Egyptians be later. What Avraham wanted was that his children should get gifts when they left Egypt, so, therefore, he wanted gifts. 

The Zohar writes that Avraham was not worried about Sarah getting harmed by the Egyptians because he saw that Sarah had an angel in front of her at all times, so he knew that, through miraculous ways, nothing would happen to her. He was only worried that he shouldn't get harmed because he was not on that level, so he had to ensure that he would be saved naturally. 

With these two answers, we can understand Rav Kahaneman's answer to why Sarah had to not only be barren but also have no womb. He answered that מעשי אבות סימן לבנים , for there were many periods of time throughout the history of our nation that all seemed lost ,when either spiritually of physically. Our nation seemed doomed and that by all natural means the Jewish people would cease to exist. Therefore, Hashem made it that Sarah had no womb for us to recognize that we would be able to survive even when it's impossible . 
Perhaps that's why, too, Sarah had to go through being abducted by the king,  surviving and coming out unscathed by way of miracle to ensure that the Jewish people, throughout the generations, will be able to survive the various exiles even if only by way of a miracle. 

Rav Kahanamen said that when his grandfather, the Ponevezher Rav, came to Israel after the war and wanted to rebuild, everyone told him it was impossible. He would never get back what we had; it'll never happen. Look what we have all just been through; it's over. He answered, that’s correct. We can't rebuild naturally but the Jewish people are born out of miracles and will survive with miracles. Look at the world now; there are probably more yeshivos than ever in history. 
We have to realize that nothing is impossible. No matter what’s going on and what one might think, we are a nation of survivors. Whether through natural means or by miracle, we have the ability to overcome any adversity and survive! ‎

Noach

When the flood has concluded,  Hashem, in his command to  Noach to go out & rebuild the world, promises that He will never send another flood to destroy the Earth. ‎Noach plants a vineyard, gets drunk & ends up in a uncompromising situation in his tent. After Cham tells his two brothers what's going on in their father’s tent, the posuk tells us: ויקח שם ויפת את השמלה וישימו על שכם שניהם, and Shem & Yafes took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders and covered their father. 

Rashi draws our attention to the fact that the Torah uses the singular form ויקח, he took, instead of ויקחו, they took. He explains  that the Torah is telling us that Shem exerted more effort in the fulfillment of the commandment to honor his father than Yefes. Therefore, Shem merited that his children were privileged & given the commandment of tzitzis, while Yefes, who also participated but to a lesser degree, merited that, at the end of days in the final war of Gog & Magog, his children will be buried in the land of Israel. 

Reb Zalman Sorotzkin explains the reasoning behind these two rewards. The mitzva of tzitzis that was given to the children of Shem, includes in it a guarantee that they will always have clothing, for, in order to be obligated to wear tzitzis, one has to have clothes. Mida K'neged Mida, he covered his father with clothes so his children merit to be clothed. As for Yefes, the promise that his children will merit burial is also Mida K'neged Mida, for just as he covered his father, his children will also be covered. 

This demonstrates that two people who do the same act, one doing it with the right intent & with his whole being while the other one does it only because his friend is doing it & feels he has to but doesn't really care. The first one’s reward is that, while he is alive, he will always have clothing, for he did the mitzva full of life. The other one also gets reward but ‎just as he did the mitzva without enthusiasm, “half dead”, he gets rewarded with burial. 

The Tzemach Tzedek relates a story about a simple farmer who lived in Israel. This man was unlearned & didn't even know what he was supposed to daven each day. Regardless, he was very careful not to miss any tefila despite the fact that he had no idea what he was saying. When he would come into Yerushalayim once a week to sell his produce, he would go to the rabbi who would show him what he had to say for the coming week. 

The rabbi tried to explain to him the basics & the general rule of what to say, but that was too much for him to comprehend. Therefore, the rabbi would meet him each week to explain what to say in the coming week.  One day the farmer comes to the rabbi & says that he won't be able to come to Yerushalayim for a few weeks, so he needs a prayer plan for the next few weeks which the rabbi gives him. 

About two weeks later, the farmer had to come to Yerushalayim unexpectedly. When he arrives, he finds all the stores closed & starts to panic. “Maybe it's Shabbos today & I miscalculated the days?” Quickly he finds someone who tells him that it's a public fast day & everyone is in shul davening. Now he's upset. “Why didn't the rabbi tell me about a public fast day. I didn't say any of the right prayers today.” He runs to the shul finds the rabbi; on the verge of tears, he asks why he didn't tell him about the special prayers for today‎?

The rabbi explained that this wasn't one of the regular public fast days; rather there had been no rain so they declared their own fast day to pray to Hashem to send them rain. This really confused the farmer. “Why do you have to call a fast day because there is no rain?” The rabbi asks him what they should do instead. The farmer answers, “do what I do when there is no rain; I go outside to the field & talk to Hashem. I say, “Father I need rain!” Then, it starts to rain. The rabbi says to him, “if that's what you do, then do it for us as well. They go outside, the farmer looks up and says, “Father, your children need rain; send them rain to sustain themselves. Immediately, it began to rain. 

Sometimes it's the sheer simplicity, the “pashtus”.   A whole town of people could be in shul davening for something  with no answer. Then, one simple person does the same act, says a prayer with his whole being & total belief because that’s his essence. He is answered. The message to us is that it's not about what we do; rather it's what we put into it.  It’s what it means to us that counts. Do we do it because the other guy did, or do we do it because we want to get closer to Hashem?  Ask yourself, “What is my motivation. What makes me tick?!”