vayeitzei

Our Parsha starts with Yaakov leaving באר שבע and heading to חרן. The posuk then tells us ויפגע במקום וילן שם , he encountered the place & spent the night there.

Rashi cites the gemara that says the word ויפגע means prayer, teaching us that Yaakov established the evening prayer. The Torah used the word ויפגע instead of ויתפלל to teach us that the land contracted for him, thereby making his journey shorter.

The gemara tells us that when Yaakov had passed by Mount Moriah & got to Charan, he realized that he had passed the spot where his father ‎and grandfather had prayed. He felt bad that he hadn't, so he decided to return there to pray. As he turned to go back, the land had contracted & he found himself at Mount Moriah.

The מכתב מאליהו notes how astounding it is that as soon as Yaakov had decided to return, Hashem had instantly made the earth contract so that he arrived immediately, teaching us that one good thought brings an immediate reaction from Hashem. When one just decides in his mind to do good, then Hashem instantly helps him to succeed.

We all know that when Yaakov finished his prayers, Hashem made the sun set so that he would go to sleep. During that sleep, he had the famous dream of a ladder stretched heavenward with angels going up & down. The sefer מדרש אליהו notes that the numerical value of the word סולם , ladder, is the same as the word ממון , money. Both equal 136. Based on that he interprets the posuk as follows: והנה סולם, by way of one’s money, one feels מוצב ארצה that his wealth came to him because of his strength & acumen, his dealings on the ground. In reality, וראשו מגיע השמימה everything is dependent on Hashem who sits in heaven. It’s with His will that one becomes wealthy or poor. As the posuk continues: מלאכי אלוקים עולים ויורדים בו the angels of Hashem that are in charge of sustenance will bring up the ones who deserve to succeed & bring down the ones who are meant to fail.

The בן איש חי explains what the connection is between the word סולם, ladder, & ממון, money, that it's specifically these words that are used to convey this concept.
Back in the days when a ladder was used to get into the house, one would put a nice sturdy ladder outside his home with each step being ornate yet sturdy. If the top step would start to brag & say that I'm the best one for the owner put me on the top, one could just take the ladder & turn it over; in a second the one on top is at the bottom & the one on bottom is on top which shows the top one that there is nothing to feel superior about. It’s not up to him, but rather up to the one that could just flip the ladder who's really in charge. Therefore, the Torah used the word סולם, ladder to demonstrate to us that one who's wealthy should use his wealth for the good & that one who is struggling shouldn't despair, for the ladder can always be turned.

Maybe we can take this a step further & say that just as when one has the intention to do something good, Hashem helps him & makes it happen right away, so too, when it's your time to succeed, Hashem will make it happen right away!

Toldos

When we are first introduced to Yaakov and Eisav the Torah tells us they were born, they grew up and went their separate ways, עשו איש ידע ציד איש שדה ויעקב איש תם ישב אהלים
Eisav was a hunter a man of the fields, Yaakov was a wholesome man abiding in tents.

The לקח טוב points out that while the Torah is telling us the essence of their characters, interestingly enough, it doesn't tell us about the great deeds or pure character of Yaakov. Rather, it says only יושב אהלים which is translated by the Targum Yonasan as תבע אולפן which we can understand by way of the posuk that states 'והיה כל מבקש ה which the Targum translates as כל
דתבע אולפן . This teaches us that a יושב אהלים is a 'מבקש ה , one who seeks out Hashem.

Similarly, in the description of Eisav, the Torah doesn't tell us about his wickedness or treachery but uses only the words איש שדה which the Targum translates as גבר נחשירכן . Tosafos translates this to mean נח ובטל . The Torah itself doesn't single out Eisav’s actions but says it all with these words that are his essence, meaning all his actions stem from בטלה , idleness.

What is a ' מבקש ה ? Reb Chaim Shmulevitz told his students that once when he was young, he went to the Nevardik Yeshiva where his uncle רב אברהם יפהן was the Rosh Yeshiva. During his stay, he asked his uncle to show him who was the most exemplary student there. His uncle pointed out one boy and said this is the most studious and then showed him another one and said he's the most intellectual and yet another was the most spiritual. Reb Chaim asked again, “I see that each one has his own qualities but who is the one that's above all the rest?”

Reb Avraham then took him to one of the corners of the bais medrash and said, “this boy is the one that's above all the rest.” Reb Chaim asked him, “I don't understand. When we went through all the boys and you told me the ones that were the best at each thing, this one's name didn't come up once. How could he be the best one? His uncle answered that this one's qualities are different from all the others because he's a מבקש . He's the מבקש of the Yeshiva; the one whose whole essence is just to get closer to Hashem, to fulfill the will of Hashem. We now know that boy as the Steipler.

This past week was a very difficult one for כלל ישראל . The massacre in Har Nof defies reason. People are asking themselves what can I do to help? What is Hashem trying to tell us? Maybe we could take this lesson from Yaakov and Eisav, to try to do something that could make a difference. If we look at Eisav's essence which is בטלה , wasted time, nothingness and Yaakov's which is a מבקש ה , one who is just looking to see what Hashem wants him to do, one whose only desire is to get close to Hashem. If we could try to minimize the wasted time and trivial things that we occupy ourselves with and instead try to get closer to Hashem by seeing what He wants us to do and what we could do to get closer to Him, then perhaps we, in our own little way, could make this world a better place!

CHAYEI SARAH

‎‎When Eliezer was sent to find a wife for Yitzchok, he arrives at the well with a plan on how to find the right girl. A few choice questions & tests will determine who will be the right one. Rivka passes the kindness test when she offers Eliezer & his camels to drink. Then, thinking she might be the right one, he asks her some questions including היש בית אביך מקום לנו ללין. Is there room in your father's house for us to spend the night? And she answers גם מקום ללון yes there is room for you to stay over. Rashi explains that while Eliezer’s question was ללין, is there room for the night, she answered ללון, there is room for many nights.
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Why would she answer him regarding something about which he didn't even ask? He asked to stay the night, so just answer that. Don't offer additional information.

There's a very interesting explanation given by רבי שמואל לעוו . The Ramban explains the previous posuk which states, " And it was when the camels had finished drinking, the man took a golden nose ring, its weight a beka, and two bracelets on her arms, ten gold shekels their weight.” It seems, says the Ramban, that there are words missing here. It should have said,"the man took a golden nose ring, put it on her nose & then the two bracelets on her arms. Therefore, he argues with Rashi & explains the posuk to mean: "the man took a golden nose ring and two bracelets 'to be' on her arms. ויאמר לה בת מי את , and he said to her, whose daughter are you? Only after she answered, the daughter of Bethuel, did he place the ring on her nose and the bracelets on her arms.

Now even according to the Ramban who believes that Eliezer knew that Rivka was from Avraham's family before he gave her the jewelry, why would he jump the gun with the first girl without first seeing if there were any other girls in the family that might have been better? What convinced him that this was the one?

‎Answers רב שמואל, it was from the fact that she changed what he asked ללין, to stay one night, to ללון, many nights. How did he know? There's a gemara that states, ‎if one is going on the road & an unsavory character asks were he's going, he should tell him a destination further than he's going. Rashi explains: if he's going a mile, tell him two; for perhaps the fellow will want to ambush him & will wait at the end of his route. If one tells him a little longer, he will escape the danger.

Here, too, in his naiveté, Eliezer didn't suspect Lavan & Besual to be wicked people capable of murder. This is what Rivka wanted to warn him about. He should say that he wanted to stay for many days so that, even if they wanted to try to hurt him, they would wait thinking they had plenty of time. Eliezer would therefore be forewarned. From her answer, Eliezer saw that she would do the right thing even if it went against her family & which was needed in the wife of Yitzchok.

‎There's a story told of a man who was going to a different town and wanted to be treated with respect. So he went to the rabbi for him to write a letter of recommendation. After talking to him for a while, the rabbi saw that he was really void of all knowledge. Not wanting to turn him away empty handed, he wrote as follows: "If you want to know the worth of the one holding this letter, know that had he been in the time of Elisha Hanavi & stood by the wife of Ovadia the oil would never have ceased. The man was ecstatic with the letter that he thought said he was such a Tzadik that the oil flowed because of him. When he got to his destination and gave the rabbi of the town the letter, he was surprised when there was no grand gesture of respect for him, so he asked the rabbi if he had read the letter? The rabbi said that I read & understood it. The man asked what did you understand? The wife of Ovadia had one pitcher of oil & the Navi blessed her that the oil wouldn't stop as long as she had empty vessels. At the end, she ran out of empty vessels & the oil ran out. Obviously, your rabbi felt that your head was an empty vessel; had you been there, the oil never would have ran out!

There are times ‎ when we think that we are doing the right thing, that we are even getting affirmation from our friends that all we do is great. However, sometimes it's the total opposite. We don't realize what's happening. We have to take the lesson from Rivka; even when it means going against your family & friends, doing the right thing comes before all!

Vayeira

Hashem came to visit Avraham on the third day after Avraham's circumcision. While He was visiting, Avraham saw people in the distance and Avraham, whose desire to be hospitable came before his own health, asked Hashem to wait a minute while he went to invite the men in as his guests. As Rashi's second explanation of the posuk states, אם נא מצאתי חן בעיניך אל נא תעבר מעל עבדך, if I find favor in your eyes, please pass not away from Your servant. This refers to Hashem not leaving Avraham until he gets back from his guests.

The gemara in Shabbos says that this posuk teaches us that hospitality to travelers is even greater than receiving the Divine Presence. The Simchas Aharon asks how could it be that the merit is greater when you honor an ordinary human being than when honoring the One that created them?
He answers that when one honors his friend and goes all out for him, it's a definite show of love. However, when one shows that same respect for his friend’s child, it's an even greater expression of love for the friend.

The only reason you’re welcoming the child is for the sake of the father since you don’t even get the feeling of camaraderie that you would feel with the friend himself. Therefore, it's an even greater expression of love toward your friend. When we respect Hashem, we are honoring our father. However, when we respect His children it's an even more powerful expression of love toward Hashem. So Avraham’s asking Hashem to wait was really honoring Hashem. Or, as Reb Avraham Chaim Feuer explains, there is no greater form of honor as emulation; when one welcomes guests he's emulating Hashem who would much rather you emulate Him then entertain Him.

The next posuk, though, says that Avraham told them יקח נא מעט מים take a little water to wash your feet which Rashi explains that he gave them the water via a messenger. Hashem then paid him back via a messenger. The Chaftetz Chaim explains that Avraham’s shortcoming was that he didn't do it himself; it's more honorable for a guest if he's served by the master of the house than by a messenger so Avraham should have been more careful with his guest’s feelings.

One year, late on the eve of bedicas chametz, R' Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld heard a knock at the door signaling the arrival of four respected community leaders from Budapest. After they talked for a while, the men asked if they could come to the rabbi for the seder the next night, an experience they said would be priceless. They offered to pay for the extra expense he would incur for them. ‎ When the rabbi agreed to host them and to accept their payment they were ecstatic although surprised that he took their payment. They had been assured that he would never accept their money. They returned the next night for the seder and were not let down by what they later described as "one of the most awesome experiences of our lives”.

On the first night of Chol Hamoed, R' Yosef came to his guests’ hotel room and put the money they had given him on the table. Since they lived outside of Eretz Yisroel and kept two days of Yom Tov, they couldn't even give it back to him. One of them asked R’ Yosef Chaim what the meaning was behind his action; if he didn't want the money, why take it initially? He answered that Pesach is the holiday of freedom and what kind of freedom is there for a person to feel like he's partaking of someone else's meal? Therefore I accepted your payment in order for you to comfortable in my home. Now that you enjoyed your Yom Tov, I can return your money.

Perhaps this can teach us how to treat other people, especially guests in our home. In addition to looking out for their needs, we must do it in the most honorable way. This would demonstrate that we really care for the other person which shows Hashem that we care for his children, thereby showing our ultimate respect for Him!