Kedoshim

This week the Torah teaches us many ways to attain holiness. Not holding a grudge is one of them, as the posuk says 'לא תקם ולא תטר.... אני ה, You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge .... I am Hashem. The Chofetz Chaim asks why it says 'אני הafter the prohibition to hold a grudge. He also questions how is it possible to tell a person not to hold a grudge? If someone hurts you or mistreats you, how is it possible not to have feelings of resentment?

Answers the Chofetz Chaim, that's why it has to say the words 'אני ה, I am Hashem that loves you. If a person will realize that Hashem Himself loves his friend, then how can he feel ill will toward him? Hashem knows everything and if He still loves my friend, then who am I not to?

There's a story told about ר' שמשון אבד"ק זיבלין when he became rav. He made two stipulations: first, that any town decision had to go through him and second that the only time the elders could come to him with town business was once a week on Motzai Shabbos. One day, the rebbetzin was in the market and saw a really nice fish that she wanted to buy for Shabbos. As she approached the vendor, one of the town’s wealthy women came over and started to outbid the rebbetzin; the women exchanged words and the rebbetzin obviously lost the bidding war. As she was leaving, the other woman turned to her and called her a very nasty name.

Humiliated and dejected, the rebbetzin went home. The town elders heard about what happened and were appalled. They wanted to excommunicate the wealthy woman but couldn't do it without the rabbi's ok and couldn't even ask the rabbi until after Shabbos. They went to the rebbetzin and told her what they wanted to do and that she should tell the rabbi what happened over Shabbos.

When the rabbi came home from shul, he found his wife at a little table in the corner instead of at the festive Shabbos table. He went over and asked her what's wrong, to which she said she's not worthy to be a rebbitzin and told him what happened to her. He was shocked, too, and said why didn't anyone do anything to uphold your honor. She said that they wanted to but had to wait for you to ok it after Shabbos. He said he would take care of it and they went to the table.

As he held the kiddush cup in his hand about to make Kiddush, he stopped and asked his wife when the incident took place? She said, “Tuesday”. He stopped, looked at her and said, “Tuesday? Tuesday? You had anger in your heart since Tuesday? You've been harboring animosity toward another Jewish woman since Tuesday?” She said, no, no I forgave her; but the Rav said, “no good; let's go to her home and ask forgiveness for harboring resentment.”

They walked to the woman's house and knocked on the door. When they announced who they were, the wealthy couple thought that they were coming to avenge the rebbitzen’s honor and opened the door brokenheartedly, asking for forgiveness from the rebbitzen and rabbi. The rabbi said that we are here to ask you forgiveness for harboring ill feelings toward you. Each couple was appeasing and asking forgiveness from the other until there were no hard feelings on either side. Only then would Reb Shimshon go home, showing us how careful we have to be not to harbor ill feelings toward anyone.

The קרן לדוד gives us a different reason why it says the words 'אני ה to tell us that any problems or hurt we have, is not caused by the one who did it; he's just a messenger from Hashem. For some reason, we deserve this. Just as when Shimmi cursed Dovid Hamelech and Dovid said, “don't do anything to him for it’s not him; it’s from Hashem.”

Through these words, the Torah teaches us the secret for a happier life. If we could internalize this fact and know that whatever happens to us is really from Hashem, then there is absolutely no reason to ever harbor ill feelings toward other people, living like this will lighten the load on our hearts and make our lives so much better!

Pesach

During the exodus from Egypt while the Jewish people were in the desert camping by the sea, they suddenly looked up to see Pharaoh & the Egyptian army closing in on them. They cried out to Hashem so Moshe answered them, “don't be afraid you will see the salvation of Hashem , ה' ילחם לכם ואתם תחרשון ,Hashem shall make war for you, and you shall remain silent.

The Avnei Nezer brings our attention to the difference between the salvation at the sea & the salvation we had while leaving Egypt. When we left Egypt we needed to sacrifice the Korban Pesach & put the blood on the doorpost to merit the exodus but now no merit was needed; all they needed to do was wait quietly for Hashem's salvation.
Their self sacrifice of going into the sea was greater than any deeds.

Why is that? How does the self sacrifice show more that doing Mitzvos to merit Hashem's redemption?

When the Jews were enslaved in Egypt & cried out to Hashem to save them, the posuk tells us וירא אלקים את בני ישראל וידע אלקים , Hashem saw the Jews & Hashem knew. The Medrash explains that Hashem knew that they would say זה קלי ואנוהו , this is my God & I will beautify Him.

How is this saying of זה קלי ואנוהו a reason that Hashem would redeem them?

Explains הגר"ח פלאג'י זצ"ל Chazal tell us that a person has to mimic the ways of Hashem. Just as He's compassionate, we have to be compassionate etc. Similarly, the gemara explains the posuk of ונתן לך רחמים ורחמך , He will give you mercy & be merciful to you; whoever is merciful to others, Hashem will be merciful to them. According to this it makes sense that Hashem redeemed us because we said זה קלי ואנוהו , meaning that we would look to emulate Him by being merciful to others. Therefore He had to have mercy on us, too, & took us out of Egypt, for whoever has mercy on others Hashem will have mercy on them.  

There's a story told about a man from Brooklyn who had to take care of business in Albany. When he got there late at night, there were no vacant hotels so he went to a gas station to find out where he could stay. He was told that there was an old age home nearby; perhaps, he could stay there.

When he got there, he was told that the only bed available was of a man who had just passed away. He could stay the night but would have to be out first thing in the morning. Gratefully he accepted. In the morning as he was leaving, he asked who the person was in whose bed he had slept & was told David Schwartz. He was shocked that a Jewish man was all alone in a Gentile home. He asked what they were going to do with him & was told that he was going to be buried in the home’s graveyard. Horrified that a Jewish man wasn't going to get a Jewish burial, he asked if he could take responsibility for the body. After much persuasion, they finally agreed as long as someone from the home accompanied him until the man was buried.  

The man came home, asked in shul where he could bury this person & was told that there was a chevra  in Washington Heights that had ten graves for a מת מצוה. The Chevra approved the burial & took possession of the body. While doing the purification of the body, the head of the chevra thought that the face looked familiar. Suddenly, he remembered and almost passed out. He told this story: about twenty years ago, a homeless man came into the shul & moved in. He ate there, slept there and learned there. One day he asked me what happens if a homeless man dies? Who takes care of him? I answered him that we take up a collection & hopefully we can cover the costs. He turned to me & said, “I want to pay for ten spots for homeless people” whereupon he opened up his wallet & paid for the ten מת מצוה spots ... This man here is that same man.
Whoever has mercy on others Hashem will have mercy on them.  

Maybe this is why, by the sea, we didn't have to do anything. Just standing there heading into the water, silently waiting for Hashem to save us showed our utter devotion to Hashem who in turn showed His utter devotion to us, his children & said just stay silent & I will make war for you.

This teaches us the way Hashem runs the world מידה כנגד מידה if are devoted to Him, He will be devoted to us; if we help others, He will ensure that we are helped. It’s all up to us!

Acharei

After the death of the two sons of Aaron, Hashem presents the rules for when Aaron can enter the kodesh & perform the Yom Kippur service. One of the special Yom Kippur sacrifices was the two he goats, which had to look the same & be the same height & value.

They are both brought before the Kohen Gadol who then draws lots; one says 'לה while the other says לעזאזל ; one was sacrificed; the other taken to a desolate land & thrown off the cliff. This lottery decides their fate; from then on their paths become separate: the one that said 'לה is taken out, sacrificed in purity & holiness, with its blood sprinkled in the holiest place between the poles of the Aron & afterwards on the golden mizbe’ach while the other one is יעמד חי , remains alive.


Rav Samson Rafael Hirsch offers a fascinating insight into this mitzvah. Imagine that these goats could think: the one who remained alive would be ecstatic that he remained alive; he would be full of pride saying to the other one, look at the difference between me & you; you might be going to a holy place but you’re giving up your life whereas I remain alive. Even as he's walked out of the Bais Hamikdash & taken to the outskirts of town, he's still gloating that he managed to get out, free to roam. As they lead him up the mountain, he can't believe his good luck that he got out while his friend was slaughtered. Then he stands at the top of the mountain looking down, thinking again how much better off he is than his friend who was slaughtered.


It’s understood that if the goat would know why he was brought up the mountain in the wilderness & what would be happening to him in a few short moments, he would not be having these thoughts, for in the end, he's pushed off the cliff & falls apart limb by limb.


Rav Hirsch continues that this is our power of choice; there are two roads open before every person; one of Torah & Mitzvos which, if one chooses, will encompass him & bring him closer to Hashem. Then there's the other path which involves running after the pleasures of the world & staying far away from Mitzvos. Although the ones who choose the first path, at times, seem as they're giving up pleasures, they know that they have the true pleasure in this world & the next while the ones who throw it all away running after pleasure, know that, in the end, their lot will be bitter.


The lesson of the two goats is that even though we all start out the same, we have to make the right choices that will lead us in the right direction. As exemplified by the following story.


A wealthy man once visited his childhood friend, Reb Elchanan Wasserman, and was appalled at his poverty. He exclaimed Elchanan! you are much smarter than I am. Had you become a lawyer, you would be a wealthy man today. Reb Elchanan did not respond.  They spent several hours together enjoying each other’s company. When it came time for the wealthy man to leave, Reb Elchanan walked him to the train. At the station were two trains: one a luxurious, modern one while the other was old and rickety. When the wealthy man headed toward the rickety one, Reb Elchanan stopped him.

Why would you go on that old rickety train when there is a luxurious one right next to it? His friend turned to him & said but I'm going in the other direction! Reb Elchanan said, “isn't it better to travel in a luxurious train then the old rickety one?” Exasperated, his friend said, " Elchanan, you’re talking nonsense; what good is a luxury train if it’s going in the wrong direction? Reb Elchanan replied, “listen to yourself; when you want to arrive at a specific destination, it’s not the comfort of the vehicle rather the direction that matters. You asked me why I didn't become a lawyer. Of course that would have given me a more comfortable ride but that's not my goal. What's the comfort worth if it doesn't get me to where I'm heading?

Metzora

Continuing last week’s theme, the Torah relates to us the purification process for the one who was afflicted. with Tzaraas זאת תהיה תורת המצרע ביום טהרתו והובא אל הכהן ; this "shall" be the law of the metzora on the day of his purification & he shall be brought to the Kohen. Shem MiShmuel says that the Torah speaks in future tense "shall" to teach us that these feelings of sincere & complete remorse the metzora is currently feeling must stay with him throughout his life. His whole future has to be one where he remembers this time so that he won't come to sin again.

The next posuk continues, וראה הכהן והנה נרפא נגע הצרעת מן הצרוע , the Kohen shall look & behold the Tzaraas has been healed from the metzora. The Torah still calls him a צרוע even though he has already been cured; why is the Torah still calling him a צרוע? The דעת קדושים, based on the Rambam's view of complete teshuva, answers that when one encounters the same sin on which he had previously stumbled while in the exact same situation & this time is able to overcome his desire & not stumble, that's complete teshuva.  

This same concept applies to the metzora. Even though he did teshuva & is now cured, he was secluded all that time from other people so he didn't have a chance to stumble again. Therefore, he's still called a צרוע until he goes back into society & still refrains from evil speech; then he will attain complete teshuva.

When the first posuk tells us that the metzora was brought to the Kohen, he was brought to the Kohen even by force. What was so important that he be brought to the Kohen? The Dubno Maggid explains that people are lax in regard to lashon hara because they feel it’s only words & it doesn't mean anything. In fact, when one disparages another person, it evokes divine justice against both the speaker & the one spoken about. Additionally, the spoken word has not only the power to hurt people but also to destroy lives. Yet, one rationalizes that it’s only words. Therefore, the Torah sends the Metzora to the Kohen, where he will see that now his fate, too, will be decided by the spoken word; one word from the Kohen & he now has to remain in solitary confinement until he is cured, dermonstrating just how damaging the spoken word could be.    

To what extent we have to avoid talking bad about another person can be exemplified from the following story. A man who was riding through Radin met the Chaftz Chaim without recognizing him & asked if he knew where the great Rav & Tzaddik, the Chafetz Chaim lived. The Chafetz Chaim said to him, first of all he's not a Rav & second he's not a tzaddik. The man was appalled! He said everyone knows that the Chafetz Chaim is the most saintly man in our generation to which the Chafetz Chaim replied, “what people say means nothing; they don't really know him. I know him personally & I can tell you it’s all exaggeration. The man became so upset that he started berating and hitting the old man who was belittling the Chofetz Chaim.

A little while later when the Chafetz Chaim got home, this man was waiting to meet him. When he saw that the man he had hit was none other than the Chafetz Chaim himself, he nearly fainted! The Chafetz Chaim reassured him saying you taught me a great lesson; not only can't one talk Lashon hara about one’s friend, he can't even talk lashon hara about himself!

This is how far we have to distance ourselves from speaking bad; if we can’t speak unfavorably about ourselves, then surely when it comes to other people, we have to be extremely careful not to say one bad word if we can remember this then even if we do falter we will be able to overcome & remember how bad we felt when realizing our mistake & when given the chance to sin again we will be able to resist, fulfilling even the Rambam's requirement for a complete teshuva, helping us never to sin again!