Chayei Sarah

Eliezer travels to find a wife for יצחק and sets up a test that will determine which girl is the right one. One would think, says the sefer זכרון מאיר , that for the girl who will become the future mother of Klal Yisroel, the test would encompass her piety, emuna, pureness of heart and other noble traits. However, the only trait Eliezer tests her on is that of chesed and kindness; why only those?

He answers based on the Mishnah in Avos where Reb Yochanan ben Zakkai asked his students, “what's the best trait that a person should strive to perfect?” One said a good eye, the other said a good friend, yet another said a good neighbor, another said one who can see the outcome of his actions before he acts and Reb Eliezer said a good heart. Reb Yochanan said, “I agree with Reb Eliezer because all of your words are incorporated in his.” The Rav explained that it's the heart that drives all the other strengths, therefore that's the main point for someone to work on. If the heart is happy, then everything else falls into place and all of the other things will happen too. A good heart embraces everything. Therefore, it was enough to test her just with the mida of chesed. 

However, with just one random act of kindness, how could one tell if that's a person's essence? People tend to do kindness sometimes just to get rid of a guilty feeling and not necessarily because they are kind-hearted people. Also, how could Eliezer stand by and watch a little girl work so hard giving his camels waters to drink, when he was able to do it himself? This is exactly why it was such a big test and why it summed up her true essence. Since a camel can go a week without water, when it drinks, it drinks a lot! Additionally, Eliezer was a strong able bodied man who didn't really need the help of a little girl. Eliezer stood and watched while a little girl went and gave all ten camels water to drink. One would think that seeing him standing idly by, she would do it begrudgingly. However, the posuk says she did it happily, as the posuk continues, ותמהר and she hurried, ותרץ and ran. She did it happily with alacrity as if she were helping someone who couldn't help himself. This is the mida that Eliezer was looking for, someone in whom the mida of chesed was ingrained. This was the crux of her existence, her way of life. That’s what was needed to be the mother of Klal Yisroel. 

This mida is exemplified by our leaders as well. There are countless stories about our rabbis and the chesed they do. There are stories about Reb Moshe that show that the chesed must be part of the very fiber of a person. Once, the elderly shamash in the yeshiva asked Reb Moshe to send a few boys to come help him put up the schach on the yeshiva's sukkah. The next thing he sees is Reb Moshe up on the ladder putting up the schach himself! When chesed is a part of an individual, it doesn't matter if there are other people that can do it; one does it himself. Once, Reb Moshe was a guest in someone's home. The host, knowing that Reb Moshe got up early to learn, also got up early to be there. When he came into the room were Reb Moshe was learning, he saw that his five-year-old daughter was rolling a ball to Reb Moshe and Reb Moshe would look up from his sefer, wait till the ball got to him and roll it back to the little girl. The host said, “you don't need to play with her. If you stop, she will find something else to do”. Reb Moshe answered him, “she's your baby. Since I arrived, all the attention has been on me and not her. She must feel a little bad so it's my way of making it up to her.” There are countless stories about Reb Moshe's sensitivity and caring about others, no matter who they were. Perhaps this is why, when I asked Reb Dovid this week if one wanted extra merit what would be the optimum area to improve on, he answered without hesitation, “tzedakah and chesed”. This is what we can learn from the story of Rivka and from the leaders of our generation. Let's take this lesson to heart and increase our sensitivity to others and make chesed a part of us too!