Tzav

‎This past week was a very trying one for the Jewish people. All who heard about a family in our neighborhood that was struck with an unimaginable tragedy were shaken to their core.  Seven children, members of one family, were taken from us in a tragic fire. Speaking at the funeral, the father said that his children were taken as a Korban Olah , for the posuk states that on Rosh Chodesh one brings as the Olah offering פרים בני בקר referring to him & his wife; ואיל אחד, referring to his one daughter that was saved and כבשים בני שנה שבעה תמימים , referring to his seven young children that were taken. Trying to take a lesson from the tragedy, Rabbi Joey Haber, one of the rabbis who spoke, mentioned the words of the Shela that the only ‎melacha actually stated in the Torah in relation to Shabbos is לא תבערו אש, not to light a fire. This is not just saying don't literally light a fire; rather it's saying not to let the fire of anger & strife enter your home.

Our parsha begins with the laws of the Korban Olah. The posuk states צו את אהרן ןאת בניו , command Aaron & his sons. Rashi says that from the fact that the Torah uses the word‎ צו, command, rather than אמר , say, or דבר , speak,  implies a charge of alacrity for now & for future generations. ‎There is something about the Olah offering that requires us to do something with alacrity that's a lesson through the ages. 

One quality that requires great strengthening, says רב יצחק זילברשטיין , is peace in the home. A question he received from a doctor indicates how significant this concept is. There was a fellow who would come home late from work every day & then tell his wife he had to go to Maariv.  Instead of coming home twenty minutes later when Maariv was over, he would stay out a long time. This was the most difficult time in the home when the wife was putting the kids to sleep & he wouldn't be there to help. When she asked him why it took so long to come home from shul,  he admitted that his friends sat around talking & he got caught up with them. She asked him not to stay out late & instead come home to help her. He agreed but when he went out & all the boys were there, he got caught up again. 

One night, his mother in law was there to see how difficult it was for her daughter. She asked where her husband was. When she told her mother what he did every night, she sat him down & had a talk with him. Once again, he promised to come right home. However, the same thing happened again. He got caught up in conversation, forgetting to go home to help.  However, this time he realized that he had promised that he would come home & was afraid to go home late. So he had an idea. He went to the hospital & asked the doctor to put his arm in a splint so he could say that he got hurt & that's why he was late. The doctor called Reb Zilberstein to see if he was allowed to help this man avoid a fight with his wife. 

This story shows just how far some people will go to avoid helping at home, which is the total opposite of what one should do. רב אביגדור מילר used to say that when one goes back to his home after a day of work, he should rush back to be there as early as possible to help his wife. Also, before he even knocks on the door, he should think to himself how he could help his wife & what things he could do to ease her burden. Third, he should think to himself how he will deal with his children & how, no matter what happens, he won't allow anger to overcome him. 

Rav Miller held that this was the way everyone should act, although we know that that's not how most people think ‎& act. However, given what happened this week & the message we were given which seems to be a continuing message in this parsha, we must become more attuned to this shortcoming.  Maybe, for a zechus for the children that were taken from us & a zechus for a refuah for the mother & remaining daughter, let's all try to accept upon ourselves the need to be a little more cognizant of our spouse's feelings & a little more patient with our kids. Perhaps, in that Zechus tragedy will no longer strike Klal Yisroel!