Why the difference? Why was that phrase not mentioned in our Parsha?
The Ramban states that the reason for the Mitzva of כיבוד אב ואם , is that one’s parents are partners with Hashem in bringing one into the world, so one has to acknowledge the good they did & honor them for that. However, the gemara records an argument between Bais Hillel & Bais Shammai as to whether it is better for a person to be born or to have never been born at all. The gemara concludes that it would have been better for one never to have been born at all. If that's the gemara’s conclusion, then why should we be grateful to the ones that bore us? Tosafos resolves the question by explaining the gemara as referring only to a regular person; however, a righteous person is certainly better to have been born than not. Therefore, says the Chasam Sofer, after we accepted the Torah we have an obligation to honor our parents who brought us into the world for now we have the opportunity to merit the next world. Therefore, by the second Luchos it says למען יאריכון ימיך , referring to this world & למען ייטב לך , referring to the next world.
The Mishne in Avos says regarding the truly righteous: יפה שעה אחת בתשובה ומעשים טובים בעולם הזה מכל חיי העולם הבא , better is one hour of repentance & good deeds in this world than the entire life of the world to come.
At this point, before the sin of the golden calf, the entire Klal Yisroel was on the level of the truly righteous. Therefore, the first commandments didn't have to say למען ייטב לך , because that was referring to the next world which they didn't want anyway. However, after the sin of the golden calf, when the nation wasn't on that level anymore, the Totrah had to state both - one for this world & one for the next.
This mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם was given for people on all different levels. The level of the truly righteous is exemplified by this story.
One night in the middle of a harsh winter, when the people were returning home from shul in the town of Salant, they saw what looked like a person digging & fixing the ground. They came closer to see who it was & what he was doing so late at night.
They got close & saw that it was Rav Zundel in his winter coat with a shovel in his hand, dripping with sweat & out of breath from his tedious work. The people were amazed! What was the rabbi doing? He explained that this is the route where his mother would walk on her way to shul the next day. Since there had been much snow & rain, the ground was impassable. That’s why I'm fixing the ground so that when she walks to shul tomorrow, the path should be comfortable for her. Imagine how magnificentlyour gedolim showed concern for their parents!
Even the not so righteous can participate in the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents, as exemplified by this story. A Yerushalmi man received money from his son in America. However, the man didn't want to accept the money because his son wasn't shomer Shabbos & may have earned that money on Shabbos. The man went to Rav Cook to ask what to do. The rav answered as follows: “according to what you’re telling me, your son doesn't even keep Shabbos; so now the one mitzva that he wants to do, כיבוד אב , you want to take away from him?
This shows us that no matter what level we are on, one thing is a constant that we must always be looking out for our parents & helping & honoring them as much as we can, so that we too could merit the Bracha of longevity of our days!
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