ki seitzei

The posuk says לא יבא עמוני ומואבי בקהל ה
There are two reasons given why Ammon & Moav can never enter into the jewish nation. First, because they did not greet the Jews with bread and water when they went out of Mitzraim, and second, because they hired Billam to curse the nation in order to destroy us.
The דובנא מגיד asks, how are we blaming these murderers, a nation that wanted to try to totally annihilate us for not giving us food, when that's only a courtesy? Isn't it enough to fault them for trying to kill us? How does them not giving us food even count?
Another anomaly we find, says the מליץ יושר, is if because a nation tried to destroy us they can't join us, then why could Mitzri'im become part of the jewish people? After all, they tried to destroy us too.
The רמב"ן says, one of the reasons why we do שלוח הקן is because we want to train ourselves not to be cold hearted. He quotes the רמב"ם that says that the reason we don't slaughter a mother animal & its kid on the same day, and the mitzva to send away the mother bird are both because an animal has the same built in feeling for a child that a human does. So if we would slaughter the kid in front of the mother, or take the eggs when the mother is there, it would cause great anguish. The Torah is showing us how compassionate we have to be even for an animal; how much more so for our fellow man.
With this we could understand how the מגיד answers his question. He says, in reality, the two reasons are one. The main reason is that Ammon & Moav didn't bring us bread and water, however if they would try to justify it by saying they were a poor country & couldn't afford it, we mention the second reason; that they hired Billam and expose their lie for where then did the money come from to hire Billam?
What the Torah is showing us here is how much kindness & feeling someone else's pain has to be part of our DNA. So much so that even though a nation like Mitzraim enslaved & tortured us, the fact that they provided us with a home when we needed it allows them to become part of our nation. They might have done those things to us says the מליץ יושר, for they felt we might overpower them one day, so it wasn't purely malicious. However, Ammon & Moav, who didn't even have the decency to give us a little food when a whole nation was on the run, had no feeling for another's pain, & therefore can never be a part of us. Let's take this lesson and truly feel one another's pain & actively try to alleviate it any way we can, & then midah K'neged midah 'ה will alleviate our pain and bring the geula speedily in our day!