When the Torah tells us the mitzva of returning a lost object it says והתעלמת מהם השב תשיבם, hide yourself from them; you shall surely return them. The gemara learns from this that there are times when one is allowed to hide himself & act like he doesn't see the lost object. For instance, when the one who found it is a respectable person & the object is something that's beneath his dignity to carry around.
The next posuk says לא תראה את חמור אחיך או שורו נפלים בדרך והתעלמת מהם הקם תקים עמו, you shall not see the donkey of your brother or his ox falling on the road and hide yourself from them; you shall surely raise it with him. When the posuk says you have to help him pick up the animal it uses the same wording - והתעלמת מהם - that it did by your friend's lost object. Here it doesn't make any distinctions as to who has to help, even though here too it might be disrespectful for a dignified older gentleman to be unloading & loading a donkey.
Rashi says that from the word עמו we see that if the one you're supposed to be helping says to you, "since you're obligated to unload, unload it yourself", you are no longer obligated to unload.
That is something we don't see by other mitzvos; that your obligation is contingent upon someone else's actions. Another interesting thing notes רבינו בחיי is that here when the Torah tells us this mitzva it says לא תראה את חמור אחיך don't see your brothers donkey falling on the road, whereas in פרשת משפטים when it tells us this mitzva it says חמור שנאך, your enemies donkey. Why the distinction?
The חפץ חיים says we learn from here how 'ה deals with us. If we ask 'ה for things & then try to accomplish them, 'ה will help us. However, if we ask for things & then sit back & wait for it to come to us then 'ה doesn't have to help. Just like if the owner won't help unload his donkey, we are no longer obligated to help him.
He explains with a parable. There was a person who fell on hard times & was waiting in the street when he knew a certain rich man would pass by. As the rich man passes he implores him to help him out. He has a business venture but just needs some capital. The rich man is overcome with pity & says, please come to my house tonight & I will give you what you need.
Nighttime comes and the rich man is waiting, but the poor man never shows up. He figures there must have been an emergency. The next day as the rich man is walking down the street, the poor man approaches him & goes through his whole story again. The rich man tells him again, come to my house tonight and I will give you what you need. Again the poor man doesn't show.
The next day when the poor man once again approaches him on the street, he gets angry and says you're not for real! How many times are you going to ask me for help & and not show up when I say I will help you??
Every day we ask 'ה in davening to help us be better people, guard our tongue, open our hearts to Torah, to fear Hashem... but then we don't try to act upon our requests. This posuk says the חפץ חיים is teaching us the way to success if we want to be successful in our learning, in watching what we say , in business etc. We have to not only ask 'ה to grant us these things, but to also go out & try to do them, and. when we put in the effort 'ה will have to help us.
Perhaps this is why there are no exceptions to this mitzva, for who doesn't need this divine assistance? No matter how old or distinguished, we all need 'ה's help to succeed. To explain why it says over here to help your brother, & earlier on it says to help your enemy is because, says רבינו בחיי, the way to love someone is to do things for them. If at first this man was your enemy, now that you helped him he will become your friend. This mitzva makes you forget the hate & love will overcome.
Imagine, we have the power to have 'ה helping us, & by so doing changing any anger He might have toward us to love. Let's take the opportunity to act upon our requests, enabling divine assistance & granting us the ultimate goal, 'ה's love!
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