Chukas

When the Torah wants to teach us the laws of the פרה אדומה, the red heifer, it says זאת חקת התורה this is the law of the Torah. ר' משה פיינשטיין asks, why when it's just telling us the laws of פרה אדומה does is say זאת חוקת התורה when it should have said זאת חוקת הפרה, these are the laws of the cow. How do these laws apply to the whole torah? The anomaly of פרה אדומה that defies reason is the fact that the ones who prepare the ashes become טמא while the ones who it's sprinkled on become pure. The same waters have the opposite effect. What does this teach us? There's a story that was told to ר' יצחק זילברשטיין by ר' חיים קניבסקי about his father the Steipler. It was in the middle of a wedding and suddenly there was a lot of commotion going on, for when the chassan & kallah were in the yichud room, a big black rat ran between them! Understandably, the kalla was all shaken up & was going crazy, trying to leave the hall saying that the rat was a bad omen & the marriage was doomed. Her friends & family tried to convince her that it really meant nothing & to just go on, but the more people tried to convince her, the more adamant she became. Psychologists & rabbis all tried to explain to her that it was meaningless, but to no avail. When someone went & told my father what was going on, continued ר' חיים, he asked that they bring the kallah to him. He told her as follows; "I believe that you are right in your fears & that it is a bad sign for you. What the psychologists & your friends are saying about you making a mistake isn't true. They're making the mistake & you are right in all your fears. However, listen to what I am going to tell you now. "You definitely are familiar with the chazal that says אין כתובה שאין בה מריבה there is no ketuba that doesn't have some contention. If chazal say it, it has to be true. Now from what I understand both your parents & your chassan's parents are kind-hearted fine people that don't fight, & up until now there has been no contention. Since what chazal say must come true, 'ה sent this rat to your room just to get the contention out of the way. From now on you'll only have peace & happiness in your life. The girl took those words to heart & went back to the wedding happy & joyous. There are two ways to look at every situation, just as there are two ways to use every character trait. Take for example, humility & arrogance. These are polar opposites & one might think that the only way to serve 'ה is with humility. While humility is fine if that's how you expect people to treat you, without respect & fanfare, if it's the way you treat other people then it's not a good trait. The same is true with arrogance. If one is arrogant when it comes to his respect then it's a negative, however if its used to honor one's friend then it can become a positive. This is what ר' משה says the Torah is teaching us here. Character traits are a double edge sword. Each one can be used two ways - either in the service of 'ה or ח"ו against Him. Just like the פרה that purifies the unclean & contaminates the pure, we have to use our natural inclinations no matter what they are for good, find the best in every situation & then we will lead truly happy lives!