Vayeitzei

The parsha relates the incredible story of יעקב who worked for seven years to marry רחל, is fooled at the last minute to unwittingly marry Leah and then the posuk says, ויהי בבקר והנה הוא לאה and it was morning & behold it was Leah! He didn't realize it was Leah until the next morning.

The בן איש חי is confounded by this story. While it is true that we cannot understand the ways of 'ה , if 'ה wanted יעקב to marry Leah, too, why did He have to make it come about in such a deceitful way? If 'ה wanted יעקב to marry both sisters, why wouldn't He just tell him in a נבואה & he would have done it happily?

There's a fascinating Midrash in איכה that relates our the attempts of our forefathers in heaven at the time of the destruction of the בית המקדש , to get 'ה to return the people to their land. First אברהם entreated 'ה followed by יצחק then יעקב but to no avail. משה tried & also met with no success. It seemed that the Jewish nation was doomed until רחל spoke up and said: Master of the world,You know that יעקב had tremendous love for me & even worked for seven years that I should be his wife. When the seven years were ending, my father wanted me to switch with my sister which bothered me immensely so I told יעקב & we arranged signs that he would know that it was me & couldn't be fooled.

However, my compassion for my sister was aroused when I thought of the great embarrassment she would suffer. Therefore, I overcame my emotions & gave her the signs so she could marry my intended husband! I did all of that and gave up my future to spare my sister the embarrassment.

Rachel continued: now, I, a mere mortal of flesh & blood, was not jealous of my sister & didn't let her get embarrassed; You, the eternal King, how can You be jealous of idols that have no worth and because of whom you exiled your children?

The Midrash continues: immediately, 'ה's mercy was aroused & He said, “because of you רחל I will return them to their land.”

Continues the בן איש חי ,we see that all the prayers of the אבות & Moshe couldn't sway 'ה to redeem the nation, whereas the merit of רחל ,who sacrificed personal happiness so that her sister wouldn't get embarrassed evokes the mercy of 'ה to enable us to be returned to our land.  

After this Midrash, we understand why the marriage to Leah had to be done in a deceitful manner for 'ה was preparing the merit to enable us to get out of galus. It was only self sacrifice of this magnitude that had the power to return us to our land.

Rabbi Shimon Finkelman relates a story that exemplifies this trait; there were two boys from the same shul whose bar mitzvas fell out around the same time & due to poor scheduling were both scheduled for the same Shabbos. Both boys had worked really hard preparing the whole parsha so they didn't know what to do. Who should lain?

One of the boys, Avi, decided on his own that he would forego the honor of reading from the Torah allowing the other boy to read the whole parsha.

A few years later, Avi stayed with his mother, who was in the hospital, over Shabbos. Early Shabbos morning a man came in to the room & said to Avi, “as you might know, Rav Elyashiv is also in the hospital . We have a minyan in his room but we don't have anyone to lain. Perhaps you know how to? Avi answered, “normally I couldn't, but since this is my bar mitzva parsha I could lain!

After they finished davening Rav Elyashiv thanked Avi for laining & asked him why he was in the hospital. Avi told him about his mother’s condition whereupon Rav Elyashiv had his personal doctor take over her care. Guided by the doctor’s recommendation, she went into surgery & had a complete recovery.

Although it seemed like Avi had prepared his parsha for nothing, his selflessness at his Bar Mitzvah could have been the merit for which he got to lain for Rav Elyashiv, leading to his mother’s complete recovery. When we give up something that we really desire for someone else, we might really be setting the stage for our own redemption!