Toldos

The Midrash tells us a very interesting fact about יצחק אבינו : he understood the enormity of the final judgment. Therefore  he asked that יסורין befall a person & 'ה answered him saying " you are asking for a good thing & it will start with you". Afterwards, the posuk says ויהי כי זקן יצחק ותכהין עיניו מראות , it was when יצחק become old & his eyesight waned”, his failing eyesight was so that he have hardships in this world to ease his judgment in the next.

The חפץ חיים presents this mashal: A man rented a house for 300 rubles a year due at the end of the year. The landlord had to go overseas and put someone else in charge of his holdings. This person was a Jew hater who immediately told the Jew that his rent was raised to 500 rubles. The year ended , but when the employee came to collect the rent, the man only had 480 rubles. This man refused to give extra time to pay and instead whipped the renter 20 times, once for each ruble that he owed. This became his common practice; upping the rents, beating the Jews & stealing from them which made him very wealthy.

When the landlord returned years later, this Jew went to him & told him everything that happened over the years. The landlord was appalled by his appointee’s behavior & told the Jew that he has to pay you 100 rubles for every blow that he hit you. Since he hit you 20 times, he owes you 2000 rubles. His land is worth 4000 ruble so I am writing you a deed for half his land.

The man went home with his head down & depressed. His wife was perplexed so he showed her the deed for half the property of their tormentor. The wife asked, “why are you sad? You should be overjoyed that you now own half the property”. He answered that the pain is long gone now & how I wish he would have hit me 40 times, for then I'd own the whole property.

This, says the חפץ חיים is how hardships in this world are when one gets them. He just wants them to go away. However, when he gets to the next world, he will see how much pain these hardships had saved him. Not only that, but how much reward one will get in the next world for all the suffering on this one.

In a similar vein, הגר"ש יודלויץ told a story about a person who had many hardships, sickness, & poverty. One day, when he just couldn't bear anymore, he undertook a journey to the great  רב שלום שרעבי זצ"ל to ask what 'ה wants from him. When he arrived, he sat on a chair to wait for the rabbi and fell into a deep sleep. In his dream, he sees himself slowly ascending to heaven when he hears noise behind him which is a wagon full of snow white angels who quickly pass him. Silence ensues. Once more he hears the noise again & this time it’s white angels of different sizes: some big & strong & some wimpy with missing limbs. As that one passes him, another wagon of black angels pass, just like the white ones with some strong & some wimpy. He keeps going until he comes to a clearing filled with all the wagons, with a big scale in the middle of the clearing. The angels mount the scale with the black on one side & the white ones on the other.

He doesn't know what's happening until someone tells him that this is the heavenly court & they are judging someone. When a person does a mitzvah, he creates a white angel. If the mitzva is done properly, with the proper intent,then the angel is big & strong. If not, then it creates a wimpy angel which is also true with sins. Each sin which is done with full gusto creates a black angel that is big & strong, while sins that were done with a heavy heart create wimpy angels.

As he's watching the scale fill up, he asks who's being judged? The answer is “you!” He is shaking with fright for he sees that all the angels are on the scale & it’s tilting to the black side. He's doomed!
Then he hears them calling out, " are there any more angels?" When the first response is “no”, they ask again, “did perhaps this man have hardships in his life?” Immediately, another wagon full of angels created from his hardships pulls up & started pulling off the black angels for hardships erase sins. As the two sides of the scale are practically even, he sees that there are no more angels so he starts screaming " give me a few more hardships!!"

With that, he woke up startled. The people in the rabbi's house ask him what happened? As he heads to the door, they ask, “didn't you want to talk to the rabbi?” to which he responded I already have my answer.

We are living in a time where 'ה is giving us many hardships. We, for the most part, can't understand & accept that they will help us in the long term. As the gemara says, ר' יוחנן had terrible יסורין when 'ר חנינא went to visit him he asked him חביבין עליך יסורין, are these hardships dear to you? ר' יוחנן answered " don't give me them or their reward." How do we reach the level of not needing hardships to balance the scale?

Perhaps we can do as follows; when we do the mitzvos we do them wholeheartedly, creating strong, capable angels & when we invariably sin, we do it with a heavy heart creating weak, decrepit black angels. Then, we will have enough of our own merits to tip the scales & we won't need any more hardships!