Vayigash

Finally convinced that his brothers are truly concerned for their brother Binyamin and their father, Yosef can no longer hold himself back and is about to reveal his true identity.

Then, instead of just telling them who he was, he says, הוציאו כל איש מעלי, "remove everyone from before me!" Rashi tells us that the reason he removed all the Egyptians from the room was because he didn't want his brothers to be embarrassed in front of the Egyptians when he made himself known. The midrash says that Yosef put himself in grave danger by sending all his security personnel from the room, leaving him alone with the brothers who, at this point, were very angry. They could easily kill him and no one would be there to protect him. So, why did he order all the Egyptians out? Yosef felt it was better that he be killed rather than embarrass his brothers. 

Reb Leib Chasman takes this a step further, saying that, even though everything that Yosef did was just so that he could see his father again, he didn't tell his brothers who he was right away, for he had  to make sure that they would be forgiven for selling him. Therefore, he carried on the charade until he saw that they really cared. When the time came, he knew that he didn't have to hold back any longer, so he could say who he was and then get to see his father. However, instead of just screaming out “I am Yosef!," he had the presence of mind to throw out the Egyptians in order not to embarrass his brothers. Even though he knew that his father was very attached to him, nevertheless, he was going to let himself be killed, never to see his father again, so that his brothers, who had sold him there to begin with, wouldn't get embarrassed. The Ohr Hachaim says that this is the reason that Yosef never sent a message to Yaakov to tell him that he was fine.  Had he sent a message, then Yaakov would have figured out what happened and might curse the brothers. Yosef didn't want to cause them any pain, so he didn't say anything.

The Gemara tells us the story of Mar Ukva who would give out money to the poor but would put it through the door when no one was looking, so that the poor man wouldn't be embarrassed by knowing who is helping him out. One day, Mar Ukva was late coming home so his wife went to the study hall to find him. On their way home Mar Ukva remembered that he hadn't given his charity yet, so he and his wife went to the poor man's house to put the money in the door. However, the poor man was actually waiting home that day to see who was giving him the money. When he saw them through the window, he came running out to thank them for their kindness. However, they, not wanting to be recognized, ran away. As they were running, they saw a large oven in the yard nearby and went in there to hide. Even though it was very hot in the oven and Mar Ukva's feet were starting to burn, they waited until the poor man gave up looking for them, so that he wouldn't be embarrassed when he saw them. 

In our community this week, we had an unfathomable tragedy with most of us not knowing what to do or how to cope. Hashem is trying to tell us something. Of course, we don't know what. However, if we take the lesson of this parsha, a lesson that recurs throughout the Torah, upon ourselves to be a little nicer, a little kinder to those around us, to be careful not to say things that might embarrass others, then maybe, in that merit, we can demonstrate to Hashem that we learned something. We are listening to Him and we don't need any more tragedies to teach us. Rather, we will have redemption like we saw at the end of the week, when a man who was sentenced to a unfair amount of jail time with no hope of getting out early, was, from one day to the next, let out nineteen years early. Let's do our part; learn from all that happens, know that Hashem can take us out of the exile just as quickly, we just have to show Him we care!