Toldos

After the Torah relates the birth of Yaakov and Eisav, it informs us that they grew up and went their separate ways. The Torah tells us ויאהב יצחק את עשו , "And Yitzchok loved Eisav," and ורבקה אהבת את יעקב, "Rivka loved Yaakov." One may think this a little odd; it seems that Yitzchok and Rivka were picking favorites. Indeed, since Eisav was a rasha, how could Yitzchok choose him? 

It's difficult to believe that Yitzchok was fooled by Eisav as the sefer שפתי כהן proposes; Yitzchok knew exactly what Eisav was all about, yet he still was close to him and wanted to bless him. He reasoned that if he kept him close, there was a chance he would turn his life around. 

Rebbi Meir of Pomishlan said that this will be the redeeming factor that saves the Jewish people at the end of time. The Gemara tells us that when Hashem will come to the Avos and say your children sinned, Yitzchok will be the only one to stand up for us and say to Hashem are they my children and not Yours? Then he will say, “I also had a child who didn't go the way I wanted, yet I still loved him, took care of him and blessed him.  I am of flesh and blood, but You who are all merciful, surely should have compassion on your children even if they didn't do what You wanted."

A student once complained to a rabbi that his parents were unusually strict. When the rabbi spoke to the parents, they said this was their way of parenting. The rabbi said to them, “Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong; let's go ask  Rav Shach this question."  Rav Shach answered: “The Torah gave a dual role to parents, to be a teacher while also being a parent, which in a way are contradictory. Parents must give love and teachers must be tough.” The parents, who were listening, thought he was agreeing with them. Then he continued, "That was all in the old days before there were yeshivos and the parents had to do everything. However, nowadays when there are yeshivos who do the teaching, they are the ones who can be strict and the parents’ role is only to give love.” Rav Shach told the parents, “At home, only show love; let the yeshiva discipline him; a home has to be warm and comforting.”

This is why Yitzchok was so close to Eisav, because he wanted to give him the warmth of an inviting home so that he would mend his ways. The Torah says that they sent Yaakov away because Eisav wanted to kill him. On this, I heard a question from Rabbi YY Jacobson, “Why didn't they send Eisav away?" He was the problem. Couldn't they have figured out some good reason for him to go out of town so that Yaakov would be safe? He answered that it was because Eisav needed to be home with Yitzchok; he needed the home environment more. They weren't worried about Yaakov because they knew he would turn out ok. Eisav, however, needed the home more. That's why the end of the parsha states when they sent Yaakov away, רבקה אם יעקב ועשו, that Rivka is the mother of Yaakov and Eisav. We know who she is, we just had a whole parsha dealing with her and her children. Why do we need this identification? It says that Rivka was their mother to teach us that she was Eisav's mother too, not that she just cared about Yaakov.  She sent Yaakov away because she felt that Eisav needed the home more. We need to learn to make our homes inviting and comfortable so that our kids want to stay.  No matter what the challenge, be there for them!