Va'eschanan

The midrash tells us that all mitzvos are actually contained in the Aseres HaDibros, commonly translated as the Ten Commandments, so that the revelation at Sinai and the giving of the Aseres HaDibros constituted the creation of our covenant with God. Reading this section on Shabbos Nachamu, then, constitutes a renewal of that covenant, in the face of the exile and suffering that we commemorated on Tisha B'av. One of the commandments that we read is: כבד את אביך ואת אמך כאשר צוך, "Honor your father and mother as I commanded." Rashi comments that the words “I commanded” was originally said in מרה. The Ksav Sofer explains that we need to know where this was originally commanded  because the Torah is trying to teach us that the reason we have to honor our parents is not because they took care of us, fed us and clothed us. For these reasons, of course one should honor them. Rather, these laws were given in the desert where there was the manna, the well of Miriam, and the clouds, so that the parents didn't even have to take care of the children. Hashem took care of everything. The Torah tells us these laws here to teach us that the reason we must honor parents is just for the simple reason that they brought us into the world, no matter what they did or didn't do for us.

The Torah also tells us the reward for honoring parents. למען יאריכן ימיך ולמען ייטב לך על האדמה, "In order that you lengthen your days and in order that it will be good for you on the land." The sefer ישמח ישראל asks why the wording of the posuk seems to indicate that the reward for honoring parents is given to a person in this world even though we know it is given in the world to come. The Gemara brings a story of someone who went up the ladder for his father and fell. The Gemara says that his reward is in the next world. If that's the case, then why does it say למען ייטב לך על האדמה, it will be good for you on the land? The land implies that the reward will be here on the land, not in the next world? The חיד”א answers that even though the true reward will be in the next world, there is a reward that one could get in this world, which is if one is happy when he does the mitzvah and does it with joy. That reward he will get in this world, so when one honors his parents with joy and happiness, then, besides the great reward that’s waiting in the next world, there will be reward in this world too.

There is also another benefit in this world as we can see from the following story. When the אמרי חיים first became Rebbi, a family asked him to help them settle a dispute they had regarding their inheritance. Now the Rebbi knew that the father had been a wealthy man. When he got sick, some of the children came to him. One had written up a paper which stated that he wanted certain assets and asked the father to sign. Another came with different papers for him to sign outlining what he wanted, etc. Then the father died without signing anything, so they came to the rabbi to settle their disputes. 

He told them to come to shalosh seudas and he would have an answer. They didn't understand. Didn't he hear any of their arguments?  Also, one can't judge on Shabbos? However, left with no choice with their curiosity peaked, they all came to shalosh seudas to hear what the young rabbi would say. The rabbi started off with our posuk and asked a question, “why does it say למען יאריכן ימיך, in order to lengthen your days, in plural instead of יאריך in singular like the rest of the posuk?” He explained that the normal way of the world when a person gets sick, if he has children, the children will call the doctor to get him medicine and try to help in any way they can. That gives the parent a renewed energy, seeing that the children care and that helps the sick person to live longer. When the grandchildren see how their parents take care of parents, they learn that when their parents get old or sick, they will take care of them the same way, extending their lives. Therefore, the posuk uses the plural to show if one extends his parent’s life, then his children will do the same for him. However, if a parent gets sick and, instead of calling a doctor and trying to help, the children come with papers to divide the inheritance, they, in essence, seal his fate.  The parent sees that all the kids care about is the money and that shortens his life. Now, these people also have children and that's the message that their children will get. The family got the message.

We can learn from here how careful we must be with this mitzvah and do it happily, for not only is there immeasurable reward in the next world, we can reap the benefits in this world, too!