This week the Torah teaches us many ways to attain holiness. Not holding a grudge is one of them, as the posuk says 'לא תקם ולא תטר.... אני ה, You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge .... I am Hashem. The Chofetz Chaim asks why it says 'אני הafter the prohibition to hold a grudge. He also questions how is it possible to tell a person not to hold a grudge? If someone hurts you or mistreats you, how is it possible not to have feelings of resentment?
Answers the Chofetz Chaim, that's why it has to say the words 'אני ה, I am Hashem that loves you. If a person will realize that Hashem Himself loves his friend, then how can he feel ill will toward him? Hashem knows everything and if He still loves my friend, then who am I not to?
There's a story told about ר' שמשון אבד"ק זיבלין when he became rav. He made two stipulations: first, that any town decision had to go through him and second that the only time the elders could come to him with town business was once a week on Motzai Shabbos. One day, the rebbetzin was in the market and saw a really nice fish that she wanted to buy for Shabbos. As she approached the vendor, one of the town’s wealthy women came over and started to outbid the rebbetzin; the women exchanged words and the rebbetzin obviously lost the bidding war. As she was leaving, the other woman turned to her and called her a very nasty name.
Humiliated and dejected, the rebbetzin went home. The town elders heard about what happened and were appalled. They wanted to excommunicate the wealthy woman but couldn't do it without the rabbi's ok and couldn't even ask the rabbi until after Shabbos. They went to the rebbetzin and told her what they wanted to do and that she should tell the rabbi what happened over Shabbos.
When the rabbi came home from shul, he found his wife at a little table in the corner instead of at the festive Shabbos table. He went over and asked her what's wrong, to which she said she's not worthy to be a rebbitzin and told him what happened to her. He was shocked, too, and said why didn't anyone do anything to uphold your honor. She said that they wanted to but had to wait for you to ok it after Shabbos. He said he would take care of it and they went to the table.
As he held the kiddush cup in his hand about to make Kiddush, he stopped and asked his wife when the incident took place? She said, “Tuesday”. He stopped, looked at her and said, “Tuesday? Tuesday? You had anger in your heart since Tuesday? You've been harboring animosity toward another Jewish woman since Tuesday?” She said, no, no I forgave her; but the Rav said, “no good; let's go to her home and ask forgiveness for harboring resentment.”
They walked to the woman's house and knocked on the door. When they announced who they were, the wealthy couple thought that they were coming to avenge the rebbitzen’s honor and opened the door brokenheartedly, asking for forgiveness from the rebbitzen and rabbi. The rabbi said that we are here to ask you forgiveness for harboring ill feelings toward you. Each couple was appeasing and asking forgiveness from the other until there were no hard feelings on either side. Only then would Reb Shimshon go home, showing us how careful we have to be not to harbor ill feelings toward anyone.
The קרן לדוד gives us a different reason why it says the words 'אני ה to tell us that any problems or hurt we have, is not caused by the one who did it; he's just a messenger from Hashem. For some reason, we deserve this. Just as when Shimmi cursed Dovid Hamelech and Dovid said, “don't do anything to him for it’s not him; it’s from Hashem.”
Through these words, the Torah teaches us the secret for a happier life. If we could internalize this fact and know that whatever happens to us is really from Hashem, then there is absolutely no reason to ever harbor ill feelings toward other people, living like this will lighten the load on our hearts and make our lives so much better!
Answers the Chofetz Chaim, that's why it has to say the words 'אני ה, I am Hashem that loves you. If a person will realize that Hashem Himself loves his friend, then how can he feel ill will toward him? Hashem knows everything and if He still loves my friend, then who am I not to?
There's a story told about ר' שמשון אבד"ק זיבלין when he became rav. He made two stipulations: first, that any town decision had to go through him and second that the only time the elders could come to him with town business was once a week on Motzai Shabbos. One day, the rebbetzin was in the market and saw a really nice fish that she wanted to buy for Shabbos. As she approached the vendor, one of the town’s wealthy women came over and started to outbid the rebbetzin; the women exchanged words and the rebbetzin obviously lost the bidding war. As she was leaving, the other woman turned to her and called her a very nasty name.
Humiliated and dejected, the rebbetzin went home. The town elders heard about what happened and were appalled. They wanted to excommunicate the wealthy woman but couldn't do it without the rabbi's ok and couldn't even ask the rabbi until after Shabbos. They went to the rebbetzin and told her what they wanted to do and that she should tell the rabbi what happened over Shabbos.
When the rabbi came home from shul, he found his wife at a little table in the corner instead of at the festive Shabbos table. He went over and asked her what's wrong, to which she said she's not worthy to be a rebbitzin and told him what happened to her. He was shocked, too, and said why didn't anyone do anything to uphold your honor. She said that they wanted to but had to wait for you to ok it after Shabbos. He said he would take care of it and they went to the table.
As he held the kiddush cup in his hand about to make Kiddush, he stopped and asked his wife when the incident took place? She said, “Tuesday”. He stopped, looked at her and said, “Tuesday? Tuesday? You had anger in your heart since Tuesday? You've been harboring animosity toward another Jewish woman since Tuesday?” She said, no, no I forgave her; but the Rav said, “no good; let's go to her home and ask forgiveness for harboring resentment.”
They walked to the woman's house and knocked on the door. When they announced who they were, the wealthy couple thought that they were coming to avenge the rebbitzen’s honor and opened the door brokenheartedly, asking for forgiveness from the rebbitzen and rabbi. The rabbi said that we are here to ask you forgiveness for harboring ill feelings toward you. Each couple was appeasing and asking forgiveness from the other until there were no hard feelings on either side. Only then would Reb Shimshon go home, showing us how careful we have to be not to harbor ill feelings toward anyone.
The קרן לדוד gives us a different reason why it says the words 'אני ה to tell us that any problems or hurt we have, is not caused by the one who did it; he's just a messenger from Hashem. For some reason, we deserve this. Just as when Shimmi cursed Dovid Hamelech and Dovid said, “don't do anything to him for it’s not him; it’s from Hashem.”
Through these words, the Torah teaches us the secret for a happier life. If we could internalize this fact and know that whatever happens to us is really from Hashem, then there is absolutely no reason to ever harbor ill feelings toward other people, living like this will lighten the load on our hearts and make our lives so much better!
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