Lech Lecha

When Avraham was traveling to Egypt & was worried that the Egyptians would kill him in order to take his wife Sara, he said to her אמרי נא אחתי את למען ייטב לי בעבורך וחיתה נפשי בגללך , please say that you are my sister, that it may go well with me for your sake, and that I may live on account of you.
 
Rashi explains למען ייטב לי בעבורך, that it may go well with me for your sake to mean that Avraham was hoping to get presents from the king of Egypt because of Sara.
There are a number of questions on this. First, asks 'ר יעקב ניימן , if the two things he was worried about were them not killing him & giving him presents, shouldn't he have mentioned  first that he wouldn't be killed & only as an afterthought the presents? And if he's worried about his life, why is he being so polite saying please let's do this. Shouldn't he have just said this is what we have to do? Additionally it seems way out of character for Avraham to be vying for presents. What's his reasoning?
 
When we analyze what the essence of Avraham Avinu's mission in life was, says ר יצחק זילברשטיין, we see it was to instill the belief in Hashem to the entire world thereby glorifying Hashem’s name in the world. Showing people that by going in the way of Hashem you won't lose out. Avraham saw that by spreading this fact he strengthened the belief in Hashem & the recognition of truth in the world.
 
The gemara gives us advice on how to have a happy home. אמר ר' חלבו לעולם יהא אדם זהיר בכבוד אשתו שאין ברכה מצויה בתוך ביתו של אדם אלה בשביל אשתו. Rav Chelbo says a person should always be careful with his wife's honor, for blessing only resides in one’s home because of his wife. As the posuk states ולאברם היטיב בעבורה and he treated Avraham well for her sake. Rava added to that by advising his townspeople to honor their wives so that they will become wealthy.
 
What Avraham wanted to do in reference to the gifts, says ר יצחק זילברשטיין, was to spread the word to the world that his wealth only came to him because of his wife.  He wanted everyone to know that his wealth was only in his wife's merit so that everyone who would hear about Avraham's wealth would learn from him to accord their wives great honor so that all would be good for them too. It wasn't that Avraham wanted gifts, rather he wanted to teach the Torah's way to treat one’s wife & that when one honors his wife the material blessings will come too.   
 
The מסילת המהרשא asks, where do we even see that Avraham honored his wife so much that we are learning from him that all bracha comes from the merit of one’s wife?
He answers that by the fact that Avraham's life was on the line & still he asked his wife please do this for me so that I will live, we see how much he honored her & wouldn't force her to do anything even if he might be killed.
 
Perhaps that's why he put the gifts first. If his whole mission in life was to spread the word & belief in Hashem, then by him getting the gifts & being able to show that success comes from honoring one’s wife & that that's the Torah way, then that was his life & that's what comes first. The gifts were just a vehicle for him to show Hashem’s ways & that's what mattered to him more than anything.
 
Rebbizin Kanievsky once went to a wedding by herself & after maariv R’ Chaim asked his shamas if the rebbetzin came back yet. When the shamas told him that she was back already before maariv, he said I wish I would have known because when she's not here I worry too much & can't concentrate. In a similar vein, she once told one of her friends that she doesn't like to leave the house because R' Chaim had said he doesn't learn as well when she's not there.  
 
We could learn from here how to treat our wives, how to care for them & know that when we treat our wives with caring & respect Hashem will shower the ultimate blessings upon us!