Ki Sisa

After the sin of the golden calf, Moshe turns to Hashem to ask forgiveness and says ועתה אם תשא חטאתם ואם אין מחני נא מספרך אשר כתבת , and now if You forgive them, good, and if not, erase me from the whole Torah.

Rav Yeruchim Levovitz asked, what did Moshe gain by saying erase me from the Torah? Would he gain anything by that? Would sudden salvation come because his name was taken out?

Chazal tell us that the reason that the section dealing with the death of Miriam was put next to the section of the Parah Aduma was to teach us that just as the Parah Aduma grants atonement, so too, the death of tzadikim grants atonement which implies that tzadikim, when they're alive, don't grant atonement.

That's hard to understand, though, for we see by Sedom that Hashem would have been willing to save the whole city if there were just ten Tzadikim. These would be tzaddikim while alive, showing that they are not mechaper only in death. It must be that tzadikim are able to mechaper in all circumstances. First they are mechaper while alive while if that doesn't help, then they are mechaper after they die.

There's a story told of a young man in the yeshiva of Radin who was suffering from a very debilitating disease who went into the Chafetz Chaim and cried bitterly about his lot. The Choftez Chaim didn't answer him which made the boy feel as if he had no hope & his fate was sealed. Nevertheless, he kept coming to the Chafetz Chaim to cry to him for help. On one such occasion, the Chafetz Chaim said to him I can help you on one condition. The boy, grasping for a shred of hope, said of course, whatever it is I will do it. The Chafetz Chaim told him go to a very old rabbi in a certain city and ask him for a bracha. You will be healed on the one condition that you never tell anyone about this. It must remain between me and you. Of course the boy agreed, went to that town, got a bracha from the old rabbi & was immediately healed.

He later married, had a family and lived on for many years. One day, his wife's sister came down with the identical sickness that he had had. She, too, could find no cure. His wife recalled that he had had this sickness and started asking him how he got cured. Of course, he didn't answer. However, they continually harassed him to reveal the secret but he wouldn't budge. They were relentless, calling him merciless & evil. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore & revealed what had happened.  

Almost immediately his sickness came back.

The Chafetz Chaim, although very old, was still alive so this man ran back to him and told him what happened. He asked him again, “can you please do something for me?”

Answered the Chaftez Chaim with a broken heart, " my son, you should know that in order to help you last time I fasted for thirty days; but now, in my old age, I just don't have the strength to fast & daven for you like I had done.

Think about what the Chafetz Chaim did. He fasted & davened for thirty days straight for someone else. That's feeling someone else's pain which, says  Reb Yeruchim, is what Moshe was saying to Hashem. My main interest is that You forgive them now while I'm alive. However, if I'm not successful in obtaining forgiveness for them now, then erase me and let me atone for them in my death. Since the essence of tzadikim is to be mechaper for the people, I want to atone for them whichever way possible, even by death. Such was the selflessness of Moshe Rabbainu.
We have to learn from here how to make someone else's pain our own, how to feel for another person, and to daven for someone else the same way you would daven for yourself, emulating the ways of Moshe rabainu!